Now if only I didn't have to work tomorrow and had so much to get done in such a short amount of time! My work life is usually not too hectic but this week with my one coworker being off and with having a day off when a deadline is ahead makes it a little tougher.
Found out my hormone levels made another good drop - from 250ish last week to 30! So that's great to be closer to zero. Next up: Cycle Day (CD) 1, OBGYN appointment on 7/10 and hopefully a clean bill of health regarding the cyst.
Been trying to get back into my "healthier living" pattern again. I can't believe all the weight I lost (okay only 7 lbs but still) - went right back on between when I found out about my miscarriage and now. And all those healthy eating patterns I just threw out the window for a while. Ugh. Hate that. But by getting back into the exercise I know I will be able to get back into the fewer/better calories habit. It's like if I exercise then I can be like, well dang it I just exercised 300 calories away, do I really want to blow it on <insert particular craving>. Got 50 lbs to go total. And then I am going on a very, very big shopping spree.
I find that thinking and dreaming about the clothes I could wear again is a BIG motivator for me. Here are some of my choices for what I will buy once I reach my final goal (130 lbs):
Ack this one appears to be unavailable now... but was one of the most inspiring!
Love the print and the neckline and the little scalloped edge at the bottom - the back neck line is a bit of a scoop.
Anyway, the potential wardrobe again is a big motivator. I used to sit there at work when craving snacks and keep one of these pics up on my phone for inspiration! I should do that again.
Well, sadly, now that I actually have a few minutes to write I don't feel like I have much to say.
Except that on Monday I did break down a bit. I just was in the car about to go to lunch and kept thinking about various aspects of everything.... and just cried and cried and cried for a good 15 minutes or so. It helped to let some of that go.
It's hard to go back to the mindset pre-miscarriage. It can't be the same... it won't ... and shouldn't be the same... but there are some pieces I can pick up again. And if I am so, SO fortunate enough to get pregnant again.... I have to choose to be joyful about it again. I just have to. Because I don't want to miss out on being happy about being pregnant again because of what might happen. It will be very, very challenging... and I know part of me will always be worried.... but I really hope I get to have that joy again.
Thanks for reading whoever's reading...