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Writing about secondary infertility & trying to conceive after multiple losses in Gaman (a Japanese term of Zen Buddhist origin which means "enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity"). Also cooking, Phish, and parenting my beautiful little boy.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Haven't written in so long.... just too much going on at once.  And I guess after my most recent miscarriage I just wasn't in the mood.

I had gotten a positive test on October 5th and miscarried five days later.  So of course that was incredibly difficult.  But that time I sort of saw it coming since I had been taking my temperature and I saw it drop quickly.  I had gotten the test result on a Friday and my OBGYN office had said to come in Monday.  They did a blood draw and tested my progesterone.  At that point I was 17 days past ovulation (DPO) and my HCG was only 13 (barely pregnant) and my progesterone was like less than 2.  She put me on a progesterone supplement right away but by the time it took to get the test back then get the prescription etc. it was three days later and I had already seen my temperature drop so I didn't have a good feeling about it.  Sure enough when my blood was drawn at 19 DPO the test showed HCG of 4 (under 5 is no longer considered pregnant) and they tested my thyroid level which was 3.74 and should have been a good deal lower.  I miscarried that night.

They referred me to a reproductive endocrinologist (RE) about a half hour away.  So I went to the required seminar to get the free consultation appt. etc.  In the meantime I figured we'd go ahead and try again (but not try tooo hard) because what did we have to lose anyway?  So the day of my appointment with the RE I got a positive pregnancy test again.  This was a month after the last one - November 5th.  They took blood and put me on progesterone right away.  This time it was a higher dose of progesterone and started much earlier - 12 DPO.  I am also taking baby aspirin once a day.  My first blood draw showed 29.6, second one at 14 DPO showed 50, and third which was just this past Fri at 16 DPO was 85.4.  It should be doubling every 2 - 3 days and according to the math I'm at 2.5 days.  So while the numbers still seems actually really low, they are for now doubling within the normal amount of time.  And the nurses are still saying everything is going normally - but since the numbers have started out so low they want me to have another blood draw tomorrow and probably Wednesday.  I will be so happy when I see some bigger jumps.

But for now I'm feeling cautiously very good.  This is the first time I've actually had the tests done and seen numbers going up.

Of course I made it all the way to 6w 1d before little bean stopped growing.  So I don't think I'll feel really relieved until I hear a heartbeat.  And even then I will probably be guarded until I'm out of the first trimester which is slated for right after the new year.  New Year's day is my favorite holiday so I hope this coming one is extra special.

Well.... that's my news for now.

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